Network building, rethought
Start here - the shape of the whole thing. Not one of the weekly emails.
The whole shape on one page - not tactics, the picture. Where all of this is heading, and why it's unlike the networking you've tried before.
If you’ve ever felt that networking just doesn’t work - or that it works for other people but somehow never quite for you - start here.
This isn’t a list of tactics. It’s the shape of the whole thing on one page, so you can see where it goes before you decide whether to walk it. Because the reason networking so often disappoints isn’t that you’re bad at it. It’s that nobody ever showed you the shape - just “go to the event, hand out cards, follow up, hope.” There was never a picture. Here’s the picture.
Don’t try to master it. A map doesn’t teach you the ground - it just shows you where everything is, so the pieces that follow have somewhere to sit. Each step has its own short read when you’re ready.
The old way is to work with whoever happens to be in the room. This flips it: you decide, on purpose, who belongs in your network before you meet anyone - not the people who might buy from you, but the ones positioned to know your work and recommend you. And you choose them less for their job title than for how they think. Choose, Don’t Collect
Then you actually reach out - with a genuine note about their work, not a pitch about yours. The whole posture is “let me find out about what you do,” and it’s the opposite of the thing everyone braces for.
And when they connect back, you’ve got a small window of goodwill. Most people waste it on a photocopied “thanks for connecting!” You don’t. A genuine, specific line about their work - the kind that makes someone feel actually seen - is what turns a new contact into a real conversation. A thanks-for-connecting that delights
The first call fills people with dread because they think it’s a pitch they can fail. It isn’t. You’re there to learn about them - what they do, how they think, who they know. Nothing to sell, so nothing to be rejected about. It becomes the easiest conversation in the world. What can you discover?
Good conversations die from “let’s stay in touch” with nothing to actually stay in touch about. Relationships live on motion, not goodwill - so you leave every one with a reason to come back: something to share, someone to introduce, a thread to pick up. A reason to follow up
Do this with enough of the right people - the ones who build their own networks too - and something shifts. You’re not networking alone anymore. You’re one node in a web of people who all think this way, recommending each other, and work starts arriving on a recommendation, from people you’ve never even met. Building nodes
And underneath all of it sits one small human habit: when someone mentions a need, you’re the one who says “I know a guy” - and makes the introduction, freely, expecting nothing. Do that often enough and you become the person everyone’s glad to know. That’s the whole thing, really. Become the person who knows a guy
That’s the shape: choose well, reach out like a person, learn, stay in motion - and watch a handful of good relationships quietly turn into a network that sends work your way on its own.
If you’re wondering whether it really works, start with the story - Does it really work? If you’d rather feel where it all leads, jump to Imagine if. Otherwise, they’ll arrive one at a time, in order, and this page will be here whenever you want to see where you are.
Network building, rethought
These arrive by email one a week, in this order. Read them here in any order you like - nothing depends on having read the one before.
Why the busy-then-broke see-saw isn't a discipline problem - and what the businesses that escape it do differently.
The introduction I made before we'd even spoken - a true story from a fortnight ago, with a timeline unheard of under the old rules of networking.
The breakfast clubs, the quota referrals, the eight-coffees-and-nothing day. They feel like networking. Here's why they don't build a network.
This isn't bulk networking. You're choosing people through real conversation - almost interviewing them - for how they think and whether they'll build their own network too.
The 'thanks for connecting' everyone sends is a photocopy. The one that works reads their profile and genuinely delights them - and now it takes about twenty seconds.
A scheduling link feels like a courtesy. Look closer at what it quietly tells the person you're trying to win over.
Great conversations don't die from a lack of goodwill. They die from a lack of a next thing. Here's how to make sure there's always a reason to come back.
The first call fills people with dread - because they think it's a pitch they can fail. It isn't. It's the easiest conversation you'll ever have, once you know what you're really there to find out.
The first two minutes of a call fill technical people with dread. Here's the secret nobody tells you: connection isn't charm, and it isn't small talk - it's a procedure anyone can run.
Before any of the how-to, the why - yours. The one thing worth climbing back up to see, especially when the detail gets thick.
Most people quit at month three - right before the part that works. Why networking builds instead of spikes, and what that asks of you.
You can pay a thousand a month for an instant, vetted network. Here's what you're actually buying - and the version that costs nothing and grows.
Networking doesn't lapse because you're bad at it. It lapses because it's mentally expensive - and that's the part that just changed.
Maybe you could. But what looks like software is really years of judgment with an interface on top - and building it would mean specialising in exactly the wrong thing.
The instinct is to want people with big networks. It's the wrong instinct - and seeing why is the last thing you need before the whole picture clicks.
The whole series has been one relationship at a time. This is where it stops being one at a time - and starts growing without you.
For all the grandeur of nodes and webs, the whole thing comes down to three words - and a habit you can start this afternoon.
Forget the steps for a moment. This is where they lead - and the one email that just asks you to picture it.
Not part of the weekly run - a little more craft, for anyone who wants to go deeper.
The cursor is blinking in the LinkedIn search box. Here's what to type - and the frame that makes the answer obvious.
Credentials tell you what someone has done. They can't tell you how they think - the one thing that actually predicts a great connection. Here's how you finally filter for it.